Sunday, August 23, 2015

Haiku Renga Smut

The following is a joint effort. A few years back, I wrote this linked haiku with a woman I had never met in the real world. She was asian-american and a bit of a barracuda and she lived in Atlanta. She wrote the first haiku "stanza," i wrote the next one, and so on.

It''s over he says
the now-ing and never-ing
hey get the fuck out

love so soon, is it?
tsk, sweet playful cockroach mine
i’ll turn the lights on

men have great pussies
about which they do not know
girls eat them with spoons

eagerly I search
my loins for spoonfuls of pussy,
ignoring hard-ons

this one is too good
so finish it with a sigh
you must lick the spoon





The following is a song written to the melody of
"The Music Goes Round and Round," especially the lovely version by Louis Prima, which can be heard by watching this video. We have re-titled the song for the sole purpose of reflecting the sexual moods of contemporary society.



Bitch let’s fall in love!

I know you’ve been looking at me/
Over ur man’s shoulder.
…What do you think?
Oh-ho-ho!
Refrain: Bitch/ let’s fall in love!!

I see you like me,
And carry on oh-so-cool,
…Would you like a drink?
Whoa-ho-ho,
Refrain: Bitch, let’s fall in love!

I don’t lift weights,
And you know I don’t have no car
But I fuck well, so well, so well
Refrain: Bitch can’t we fall in love??

You’re extremely loud,
Like a big, banged empty pot
But you’re fine as hell
Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!!
Bitch, let’s fall in love!!

There’s lots of babbling here,
And many small starving minds
Can’t we leave this place?
Ho-ho-ho-hohoho!
Bitch, let’s fall in love!!

Forget my odd sarcasm
And I’ll ignore your charms
‘Cause you like my face,
Whoa-hoho-hohoho-hohoho

Bitch, let’s fall in lo-ove.
(increasingly quiet..)
Bitch let’s fall in love,
(quieter still…)
Darling let’s…

Stain the couch!!

(this last line to be sung at loud, angry-traffic level, with a triumphant leap into the air, betraying no self-consciousness while gyrating the hips in the fashion of african-american toddlers sometimes featured in the rap videos, dancing in the street)

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