But what if i had wished great harm unto all the evil-doers i saw, and read about so often, and in my private time thought of their punishment and even a bit of their degradation? What if i never looked on politicians with anything but scorn and distrust? Or anything but confused admiration for those who were murdered right in front of our eyes over and over and called "assassinations" and "plane crashes?"
How will it turn out for me if my acts and works were chiefly of the idle and bread winning sort? If i muddled about and philosophized, and puttered along pursuing fleshy pleasures until i could no longer....will it matter that this was all supplemented by my deep feelings of remorse and sadness, and contempt for the predicted, prescribed, preordered and accepted state of things?
What if i did bad deeds, deeds known to be bad to me, and yet still prized the happiness and feelings of others as highly as my own, more than 98% of the time, probably? What if i was the rare bug calm enough and sweet to realize self and other were already in harmony---in harmony no matter what, despite the ignorance and shame and sorrow of our lives, despite the devilry and the strength of the lunatics and their dark masters whom you have let prevail over the earth since its beginnings, to test our mettle and weed out the faithless, in your high wisdom?