This
is a delicious story, if you ask me. The college admissions scam thing. As an immediate aside, I can
confirm that Wolf Blitzer has through the years something of a
chart-able fetish for broadcasting the number 33. So, during the
breaking news round table on last night's TSRoom, when they discussed
this "biggest college admissions scam evar" story, the ticker noted that
33 parents were being questioned or indeed charged. The number is now formally over 50. This seems to happen more than
occasionally: i suspect the significance of a 33 which is thereafter
revised upward probably lies in the initial impact of the number, so
that it resonates better in the mass mind. Anyway that's not important,
it's just well-recognized Anglo-American-Bible Region Rite Numerology
and at this point it may even reassure you, as an American, like a form
of dependable heavenly navigation when you're much too drunk but have
gone out sailing, anyway, at the witching hour on a new moon, and forgot your satellite positioning
system. We can always refer to certain lodestars and sacred numbers, in
frightful haywire times.
Huffman seems to be of that class and pedigree of Player, or actor, that descends from blue blood families. Like Bogart and about 40% of all actors, by my amateur count. Ewings and Valles and partners at high finance houses. NYC semi-royalty, in Felicity's case. In what must have been really not that much of a shock, least of all to her---knowing as we do actors and PBS and Henry Gates and shit like this---Huffman realized while actually filming the Genetics/ancestry show hosted by Gates that her presumed father was not in fact her progenitor, who instead was a man named Maher, a family friend. I think that's juicy, and to boot, wonderful, serendipitous television. It's also interesting that both of these IRL actor-parents, she and Macy, are best known for being rogue, scofflaw personas who do whatever they want to get ahead or maintain their lifestyle. "Desperate Housewives" and "Shameless." Macy in general has perfected the role of the shady and constantly lying, weasel character.
The "Rick" Singer character in this story, who charged upwards of 75 grand to grease one's privileged child into a college that wouldn't otherwise accept him or her, is reported to have written a book once about how to get one's child into college, but in that case with no reference to photo-shop, bribed coaches, false appeals to behavioral therapy benefits for cleverly negotiated test-taking arrangements, or the like. A newspaper article reports that Chapter 33 is titled "Kissing up to Your Teachers." It only mentions one other chapter, 41, and it's unmemorable somehow. To kiss up to one's teacher is a good metaphor for the entire praxis and spirit of the credentialed, degree-based education (read: Indoctrination or Initiation) system, and so is therefore comfortable with the number 33.
The numbers are potent and maybe portentious, but probably less interesting than the synchronous connection this story has to our larger national discussion about Privilege and Nepotism and Systems Bein Broke. I was already automatically aware that such thematic links existed in all this. Wolf Blitzer and his flock of decidedly feminine experts (4 women to one endlessly blubbering black former prosecutor or something, who seems to be gunning for his Doctorate of Extemporaneous Blubbering, or perhaps public office) was on the spot, though, and established that indeed, yes, this story came along at a pivotal time in the national conversation, as it were. The one slurring reporter who nobody at the round table seems to respect, and who only speaks as if to embarrass herself by the bovine obviousness of every single one of her recorded comments in her 20-year career, averred that this story was a reflection of the current period of our System Being More Than Obviously Broke. (All comments deposited into the public consciousness on CNN are perforce directly or askance about Donald Trump and the evil dark age he ushered in to what is imagined to be a still viable American democratic system.) The next speaker, a legal expert and not merely a middle-aged pill-addicted reporter or a millennial reporter whose words tumble out of her hasty mouth as if they're, like, at war with her frantic, distracted brain, continued placing this admissions scam scoop in its larger cultural context, by observing that it comes during a time when Republicans are making official noise about problems within college admissions systems, with respect to affirmative action and a skewing away from students who are not "of color."
She then mentions that Jared Kushner is said to have had less than adequate entrance exam scores, but got into Harvard after his crooked family gave 2.5M to the school's endowment. Kushner and his wife Ivanka are news items currently, as you know, in terms of a generalized mash of stories and opinions going to the question of their nepotized privilege and access to treats and perks and modes of security clearance. There is even right now a hot book dropping, a tell-all, that reinforces this idea of rampant crimes against our meritocracy, in the white house. Come to think of it, there was recently a rare sighting of the most anemic and least publicly confident Trump scion, young master Baron. He was doing his customary stiff-legged and terrified shuffle, across the WH lawn this time and flanked by his parental team, and he appeared as if he didn't know what the words "parents" or "love" meant, and he threw a look of such total fear and awkward social inability towards the cameras and press corps that i immediately burst into real tears. There's never been a more (seemingly) incompetent, diffident, and comprehensively stunted member of a WH family. For all i know the boy may be a genius, but he will almost surely need the aid of graft to enter a good university. He is absolutely the poster child for Enervating Privilege Gone Wrong but which is still destined to be additionally, richly rewarded.
Over on FOXNEWS, there is some talk about the damned left coasters and how low they have fallen if they cannot even bribe their whelps into a damned liberal Socal university. Someone comments that this story highlights the impressive idea that universities should be effectively murdered by the free market: brick and mortar no longer necessary, the internet is King, and there will be fewer cultural marxists/swingers with pedagogical access to our children. The Church---at least the Roman Catholic one---is not alone in 2019, with both The State and The University also being heavily reconsidered in light of the immense cracks beginning to show in their acts, as the TV news organs and major periodicals will tell it to us, at least.
So perhaps this story about the blue-blood Hollywood left coasters who wear pearls and tuxedos and who marry the Italian founder of Massimo Clothing (and act in satanic sitcoms infamous for launching the Illuminaughty Midget Hydra of amerikan pop culture, the Olsen Twins) and shit in the faces of our good, normal, hard-working students out here in the real world, perhaps it is part of the larger sturm and drang about the War Between the ever-more-widely-divided Classes, and all this implies by its bleeding edges. I feel that Hollywood is very good at this sport and sort of thing, Adding to the dominant and existential narrative, you know. Working its magic on the subconscious, etc. For that matter, so may the Justice Department be, and so on. The Shameless, Desperate, IRL-unskilled, amoral philistines of the world of tinsel town are forever the most excellent whipping boys and girls, the scapegoats, even. Totems. Yes it's true that once in a while, a figure news-worthy and corpulent enough in the dull public's apprehension of Hollywood Elite Doings will be sacrificed on this pyre of news events that function as bellwethers of Major Cultural Shifts and Pressing Concerns. In other words a Weinstein or a Charlie Rose or a Les Moonves or an Ailes. (i don't make very grave distinctions between Hollywood and Corporate News Media bc i try not to be a total bumpkin) But the giant and bottomless crab-pile of individual actors (even though some be descended from the power classes and families) can always be relied upon to supply bit players in whatever Grand Takedown or Legerdemain suits the interests of thought managers and their court magicians. The players can be summoned up for their slapdown on very short notice.
Verdict: if it stinks like cultural psy-ops and issues from an administration and era in which hollywood types and crisis actors and highly bribe-able politicians can often be proven to freeze their money in their freezers and fly The Lolita Express and collude in events that dazzle the public intelligence and imagination in furtherance of political/emotional manipulation aims, then it very likely is indeed artificial and you are smelling correctly. Also usually, a good rule of thumb is that if two two-bit TV actresses of no real import are chosen as the scapegoats along with only One (focused-upon, at least) admissions-fixer who is in press reports compared to Michael Cohen for his consummate shadiness, then there are other more powerful parents who engage in the same concerted bribery schemes, and there are University employees beyond mere coaches who also participate, and the public would be much more interested in the downfall and punishment of these less glamorous but much bigger criminals. Or maybe we would not be. But all we get anyway and most often are actors, and at some point we may as well admit it is all the current land and public deserve. Jeffrey Epstein, His Air Force 666 flight lists, and his Isle of Pubescent Pleasure are simply not interesting enough. Neither are Beranton Whisenant or the three magical stones found in Timothy Cunningham's pockets.
P.S. Remember once again that we are talking here about Degree Systems, to begin with. Universities with their religious regalia, rites, and pretensions. Whatever else this story means or accomplishes, it is a fait accompli that it reaffirms the majesty and Ineradicable Usefulness, nay the Utter Necessity of Received degrees and diplomas. Of a codified system of initiation into all that is meaningful or productive in a society, i am told.
Huffman seems to be of that class and pedigree of Player, or actor, that descends from blue blood families. Like Bogart and about 40% of all actors, by my amateur count. Ewings and Valles and partners at high finance houses. NYC semi-royalty, in Felicity's case. In what must have been really not that much of a shock, least of all to her---knowing as we do actors and PBS and Henry Gates and shit like this---Huffman realized while actually filming the Genetics/ancestry show hosted by Gates that her presumed father was not in fact her progenitor, who instead was a man named Maher, a family friend. I think that's juicy, and to boot, wonderful, serendipitous television. It's also interesting that both of these IRL actor-parents, she and Macy, are best known for being rogue, scofflaw personas who do whatever they want to get ahead or maintain their lifestyle. "Desperate Housewives" and "Shameless." Macy in general has perfected the role of the shady and constantly lying, weasel character.
The "Rick" Singer character in this story, who charged upwards of 75 grand to grease one's privileged child into a college that wouldn't otherwise accept him or her, is reported to have written a book once about how to get one's child into college, but in that case with no reference to photo-shop, bribed coaches, false appeals to behavioral therapy benefits for cleverly negotiated test-taking arrangements, or the like. A newspaper article reports that Chapter 33 is titled "Kissing up to Your Teachers." It only mentions one other chapter, 41, and it's unmemorable somehow. To kiss up to one's teacher is a good metaphor for the entire praxis and spirit of the credentialed, degree-based education (read: Indoctrination or Initiation) system, and so is therefore comfortable with the number 33.
The numbers are potent and maybe portentious, but probably less interesting than the synchronous connection this story has to our larger national discussion about Privilege and Nepotism and Systems Bein Broke. I was already automatically aware that such thematic links existed in all this. Wolf Blitzer and his flock of decidedly feminine experts (4 women to one endlessly blubbering black former prosecutor or something, who seems to be gunning for his Doctorate of Extemporaneous Blubbering, or perhaps public office) was on the spot, though, and established that indeed, yes, this story came along at a pivotal time in the national conversation, as it were. The one slurring reporter who nobody at the round table seems to respect, and who only speaks as if to embarrass herself by the bovine obviousness of every single one of her recorded comments in her 20-year career, averred that this story was a reflection of the current period of our System Being More Than Obviously Broke. (All comments deposited into the public consciousness on CNN are perforce directly or askance about Donald Trump and the evil dark age he ushered in to what is imagined to be a still viable American democratic system.) The next speaker, a legal expert and not merely a middle-aged pill-addicted reporter or a millennial reporter whose words tumble out of her hasty mouth as if they're, like, at war with her frantic, distracted brain, continued placing this admissions scam scoop in its larger cultural context, by observing that it comes during a time when Republicans are making official noise about problems within college admissions systems, with respect to affirmative action and a skewing away from students who are not "of color."
She then mentions that Jared Kushner is said to have had less than adequate entrance exam scores, but got into Harvard after his crooked family gave 2.5M to the school's endowment. Kushner and his wife Ivanka are news items currently, as you know, in terms of a generalized mash of stories and opinions going to the question of their nepotized privilege and access to treats and perks and modes of security clearance. There is even right now a hot book dropping, a tell-all, that reinforces this idea of rampant crimes against our meritocracy, in the white house. Come to think of it, there was recently a rare sighting of the most anemic and least publicly confident Trump scion, young master Baron. He was doing his customary stiff-legged and terrified shuffle, across the WH lawn this time and flanked by his parental team, and he appeared as if he didn't know what the words "parents" or "love" meant, and he threw a look of such total fear and awkward social inability towards the cameras and press corps that i immediately burst into real tears. There's never been a more (seemingly) incompetent, diffident, and comprehensively stunted member of a WH family. For all i know the boy may be a genius, but he will almost surely need the aid of graft to enter a good university. He is absolutely the poster child for Enervating Privilege Gone Wrong but which is still destined to be additionally, richly rewarded.
Over on FOXNEWS, there is some talk about the damned left coasters and how low they have fallen if they cannot even bribe their whelps into a damned liberal Socal university. Someone comments that this story highlights the impressive idea that universities should be effectively murdered by the free market: brick and mortar no longer necessary, the internet is King, and there will be fewer cultural marxists/swingers with pedagogical access to our children. The Church---at least the Roman Catholic one---is not alone in 2019, with both The State and The University also being heavily reconsidered in light of the immense cracks beginning to show in their acts, as the TV news organs and major periodicals will tell it to us, at least.
So perhaps this story about the blue-blood Hollywood left coasters who wear pearls and tuxedos and who marry the Italian founder of Massimo Clothing (and act in satanic sitcoms infamous for launching the Illuminaughty Midget Hydra of amerikan pop culture, the Olsen Twins) and shit in the faces of our good, normal, hard-working students out here in the real world, perhaps it is part of the larger sturm and drang about the War Between the ever-more-widely-divided Classes, and all this implies by its bleeding edges. I feel that Hollywood is very good at this sport and sort of thing, Adding to the dominant and existential narrative, you know. Working its magic on the subconscious, etc. For that matter, so may the Justice Department be, and so on. The Shameless, Desperate, IRL-unskilled, amoral philistines of the world of tinsel town are forever the most excellent whipping boys and girls, the scapegoats, even. Totems. Yes it's true that once in a while, a figure news-worthy and corpulent enough in the dull public's apprehension of Hollywood Elite Doings will be sacrificed on this pyre of news events that function as bellwethers of Major Cultural Shifts and Pressing Concerns. In other words a Weinstein or a Charlie Rose or a Les Moonves or an Ailes. (i don't make very grave distinctions between Hollywood and Corporate News Media bc i try not to be a total bumpkin) But the giant and bottomless crab-pile of individual actors (even though some be descended from the power classes and families) can always be relied upon to supply bit players in whatever Grand Takedown or Legerdemain suits the interests of thought managers and their court magicians. The players can be summoned up for their slapdown on very short notice.
Verdict: if it stinks like cultural psy-ops and issues from an administration and era in which hollywood types and crisis actors and highly bribe-able politicians can often be proven to freeze their money in their freezers and fly The Lolita Express and collude in events that dazzle the public intelligence and imagination in furtherance of political/emotional manipulation aims, then it very likely is indeed artificial and you are smelling correctly. Also usually, a good rule of thumb is that if two two-bit TV actresses of no real import are chosen as the scapegoats along with only One (focused-upon, at least) admissions-fixer who is in press reports compared to Michael Cohen for his consummate shadiness, then there are other more powerful parents who engage in the same concerted bribery schemes, and there are University employees beyond mere coaches who also participate, and the public would be much more interested in the downfall and punishment of these less glamorous but much bigger criminals. Or maybe we would not be. But all we get anyway and most often are actors, and at some point we may as well admit it is all the current land and public deserve. Jeffrey Epstein, His Air Force 666 flight lists, and his Isle of Pubescent Pleasure are simply not interesting enough. Neither are Beranton Whisenant or the three magical stones found in Timothy Cunningham's pockets.
P.S. Remember once again that we are talking here about Degree Systems, to begin with. Universities with their religious regalia, rites, and pretensions. Whatever else this story means or accomplishes, it is a fait accompli that it reaffirms the majesty and Ineradicable Usefulness, nay the Utter Necessity of Received degrees and diplomas. Of a codified system of initiation into all that is meaningful or productive in a society, i am told.
